Are You Eating From Inspiration or Deprivation?

Completely repairing your relationship with food is a process. It is well beyond the scope of this brief article.

However, we can certainly start the repair process so that January doesn’t bring the typical guilt process and the not- very- effective cycle of dieting.

Some of you have told me that you aren’t “dieting”. You are just “eating healthier”.

Occasionally, I do find the person that this is true for. But if there’s angst, tension, deprivation, and drastic changes, there are always cravings, binges and guilt right behind it. Not to mention the health implications of the ups and downs of cycling weight.

Please don’t misunderstand. I’ve been a healthcare/wellness professional for a really long time.  No one would be happier to see your perfect labs and stable blood sugars more than I.

Nutrition is important, and so is understanding how food impacts our physiology. But it’s very difficult to achieve these things if our relationship with food is lacking.

The act of obsessively counting carbs and calories with a militant approach, and then judging yourself for your choices is a complete energy drain. I want to emphasize the judging part.

I’m not talking about the person who is new to learning about lifestyle changes and is inspired to try different foods (and of course I’m not talking about navigating food allergies).

I'm talking about the negative emotions of the person who is hyper vigilant  and bordering on obsessed or the person who is always following some sort of “diet-rule”.

How do you know which one you are? You can tell by the way you feel.

Are you feeling anxious and nervous when deciding what to eat? Preoccupied? Do you say things like “I’m going to be really good today” or “I was so bad last night, you should have seen what I ate”?

Listen to your self-talk. Does it feel good? Is it kind?

If not, you are dieting and the chances are high you are operating from deprivation. You could most likely benefit from some repair work with your relationship before you start your journey of “healthier eating”.

Here are 3 things that you can start to implement. These are not to be used to judge yourself or to give yourself one more thing to wrestle to the ground. These are strategies that others and I have used in the past to repair our relationship with food. 

I am neither a nutritionist nor a psychiatrist. But I have been in the wellness, fitness and healthcare industries for a really long time and I’ve seen what’s worked and what hasn’t. And I’ve had my own personal journey as well.

At the end of the day I love when people can trust the wisdom of their bodies and these are some of the easiest strategies to get there. This is just a start to the journey. I

f you want to REALLY have a good relationship with food I recommend the books that are quoted. There is also a great website that lists intuitive eating coaches at https://www.intuitiveeating.org/certified-counselors/ 

• Honor your hunger.

This one might seem obvious but is one of my favorites. This comes straight from the book “Intuitive Eating” written by Evelyn Tribole, M.S. R.D. and Elyse Resch, M.S., R.D, F.A.D.A. Just begin to start listening for your biological hunger. Not to create more rules for yourself, or to ONLY eat when you are hungry. But to start understanding what it feels like.

Stay curious about this. Not judgmental. You will start to have a better understanding of your body and its rhythms. You will begin to notice that overeating and feeling stuffed very often happens after ignoring signs of hunger and under-eating earlier in the day (or previous days). 

This listening for your hunger is very difficult for chronic dieters (and even non-dieters) to do as most have ignored the sensation for so long.

Check in regularly with yourself and notice what your hunger level is. It will take some practice but will give you valuable information.

Again, this is not to create a rule to “ONLY EAT WHEN HUNGRY” and set up more deprivation. It’s to start to discern the messages that your body and mind are sending you. 

You will start to notice the difference between biological and emotional hunger. And you will start to notice the feeling of fullness.

When you start to honor your hunger and therefore eat when hungry, you will begin to trust the wisdom of your body.

• Eat what you crave.

I love this principle! This comes from the book “Making Peace With Food” by Susan Kano. Follow that food craving! Savor it! Eat it without guilt. So many of us try to fulfill our cravings with a “healthier” version of the food or a completely different type of food.

The alternative or “healthier” version is not satisfying and most of us end up eating all kinds of things to try to satisfy that craving.

As you begin to trust your body and its signals, you will find that cravings happen occasionally but most of the time you really just want something to eat and you have no strong preference. That, Susan Kano tells us, is when to try to choose nutritious foods “...And, as usual, do your best to eat the amount that makes you feel best:be sated but not stuffed.”

• Savor your food (and if you don’t love it, don’t eat it).

Sit down at your table and enjoy. We tend to rush through our meals and even stand at the refrigerator or sink.

Be generous to yourself and give yourself time to taste the food. Meals will become more enjoyable and satisfying.

Sometimes you will find that you don’t even like what you are eating. You are not obligated to keep eating it!

Again, from the book “Intuitive Eating”...”One of the biggest assets of being an Intuitive Eater is the ability to toss aside food that isn’t to your liking. This can be easily done when you are truly tasting  and experiencing food, combined with the knowledge you can eat whatever you want again.” 

These are just a few principles that have helped me and others develop a good relationship with food. Some of you have given me pushback over the years when I’ve suggested the work of Intuitive Eating, Mindful Eating or Spontaneous Eating.

My friendly little chronic dieters would say “I’ll eat cakes and cookies and junk all day if I give myself permission to eat what I want” That’s not what I’ve found. And that’s not what others have found that have given themselves permission to eat what they want.

When you know that you always have full permission to eat what you want and you don’t feel guilt or deprivation, the dieting mentality stops. When you stay in awareness and honor your hunger you also tend to minimize the mindless eating. 

For those of you who have a good relationship with food but take part in mindless eating, keep an eye out for my next article which will give you some ideas for “speed bumps” or habit changes that will allow the time and wherewithal to check in with your hunger signals.

 Photo by Nadia Valko on Unsplash